Wordless Wednesday... MyLove's gifts. Amber earrings from Tallinn, Estonia

Am going back to work... A Mommy's Delima

Shortly after initially getting settled here in Frankfurt I realized that I would be pretty bored once the girls went to school.  Our house would be beyond spotless and laundry done within in one day a week, easily.  Back in California I was very involved in several volunteer opportunities.  Two mornings a week I was at the older girls school volunteering in their classrooms, I would have LINKS about every other week or so and Family Readiness meetings about the same.  So easily three days a week if not more were occupied.  I loved it.  I miss it.  The ladies at LINKS and at 9th Comm Battalion kept me sane during two back to back deployments.  They were AMAZING.  I also miss them.  

I don't have LINKS here and there isn't an active Family Readiness Team here.  The girls school is a 30 minute drive one way, gas is very expensive and well at the moment I don't even have a car.  LOL. 

The day I took Claire's paperwork over to her preschool I had a very nice chat with the new director and after just a few minutes of talking about our families history of moves and well, just life she encouraged me to put in an application for a teaching position at the school.  I walked away wondering if I should and decided that Craig and I could talk and pray over it.  The next week I took back some documents needed and again after a brief conversation, the director again suggested I apply for a position and soon.  (A little back story for you, back in February when we received orders for MCESG I inquired about a job posting at the school for the Registrar position that was posted on the website but was told by the previous director that the position was filled.)  That night after talking more with Craig I decided to dust off a resume and apply.  I also applied for part time clerk position at the consulate.  Then turned it over to God's hands to decide.  The consulate job hours would be pretty much the same as if I worked at Carl Schurz, however it is year round.  I am not sure I am ready to hire a nanny to watch the girls over fall, winter, spring and summer breaks.  I still want that job as a Mommy.  The next morning I received a phone call from the Human Resource office requesting an interview for a Teacher or Teacher's Assistant position at CS.  I was super excited.  A week later I went in for the interview and I walked away feeling very confidant and happy.  Then last week I was called again to discuss potential options.  The Registrar position is back open and I want to be considered for it.  At the meeting we discussed the process of hiring all the Teachers and TA's before they could hire a Registrar.  I told them I really want to be a part of the team and I would be happy where ever they placed me.  Yesterday I decline the Teaching offer and signed the papers for a Teacher's Assistant position.  I am very happy.  Eventually the Registrar position will be open.  I know at least one other very qualified lady that will also be applying.  It is in God's hands.  I have done what I can, if I get it YAY.  If someone else does then I will still be happy and make the Teaching Assistant position ME. 

I thought I would want a job at the consulate, "A Real Big Girl Mommy Job" where I could maybe meet Craig for lunch and wear nice outfits and super cute shoes and be me, Denise.  After a lot of praying I realized I am not ready for that.  I can still be me, Denise, pretty much where ever I want to.  It is a choice.  Germany is going to be a lot of fun.. We are basically in the wagon wheel of Europe.  God has blessed our family with this opportunity and now with the extra added income travel option are boundless.

Thursday Three - Alexandria Paige

Here are my three favorite picture of Paige here in Germany so far...

Paige just turned 6 on Monday... she is something else.  I love her humor and her ability to take me from infuriated to giggling..  She is growing up so fast and is so strong.

at the Romer

exploring Rudesheim

being very European waiting for the ubahn

Claire is next week...

Wordless Wednesday - WWII bomber flyover

Happy 6th Birthday Paige!

Paige is our strong willed child, and we are so grateful for it.  Sometimes when Paige and I are butting heads I have to remind myself that I am thankful for that desire in her to fight and push the limits.  Without that natural desire to fight she wouldn't be with us today.

Alexandria Paige Wiggins
July 30th, 2006
8lbs 9oz 20 inches long

Paige's delivery was hard and complicated... I will try to make this short as short as I possibly can.  Paige suffered an Hypoxic-Ischemic Brain Injury at delivery, her apgar scores were 2/6.  She also suffered from Erb's Palsy and was born with a Sacrococcygeal teratoma.  Very, very scary and stressful time for Craig, myself and our family.  Within 24 hours of deliver she was transferred from Trident Medical Center to MUSC Children's Hospital where she spent the next three weeks in the level three NICU showing us how strong willed she already was.

The day we were given Paige's diagnosis was a very emotional day, I was nursing Paige in a rocker in front of her incubator, something I wasn't able to do until she was about 15 days old.  Craig was there and we were very cozy behind the folding screens they put up for privacy.  Her team of Dr.'s approached us and said that we could stay on the floor if we liked since I was nursing, that normally we would go discuss these types of things in a conference room.  The Doctors told us that basically Paige would never be "normal (what ever normal is), she would most likely suffer from Cerebral Palsy, physical and mental handicaps".   The seizures, MRI & MRS results, clonis and hypertonia all indicated a serious brain injury caused most likely during delivery.  They did tell us that babies brains are amazing wonders, that they are super resilient, we held on to these statements for the next two years.  We asked questions, they answered and then they left.   We sat there starring at each other full of worry, and scared beyond belief.  God was with us and we soon realized that, when on the other side of the NICU, just three feet away, behind another set of folding screens we heard the anguished cries of a Mom and family as their baby was taken off life support and passed.  God wrapped his arms around us and at that point, we decided we were blessed to have Paige in our lives ALIVE no matter what the Dr's said she would or wouldn't be as she grew. 

Paige looked very peaceful just hours after deliver, but was already suffering from serious seizures at this point I didn't know what was going on.

She was so big.. 8lbs and 9oz... just two ounces shy of being 2lbs bigger than her older sister, Reese.

This is her ready for transport from Trident Medical Center down to MUSC Children's hospital.  They brought her to my room and took a picture a Polaroid picture of her for me.  I remember doing this all by myself and calling my Mom bawling.. Craig had gone home to shower and see Reese for a bit.  She was pretty content.

this is how we found her at MUSC... bloated, fully intubated and her brain would not stop seizing.  Was very, very upsetting.  She looked terrible, not at peace and it was heartbreaking.

after a couple of days on Topomax she was a bit better and didn't look so bloated

I think this is right before she went for surgery to have her her tumor removed.

a few days later finally able to hold her

off oxygen, still had a feeding tube.. awake and adorable.

My sister, Kelly (14 at the time) was visiting us for the summer, I don't want to speak too much on her behalf but I know this was one of the hardest things she had to witness and go through. The day before she flew back to CA I was finally able to get her to hold Paige. 

just a few days before we took her home.. we were down to just a PIC line.. here she is all snuggled.  It was always hard to go home at the end of a long day in the NICU but when we go to this point it was a lot easier knowing she was at least healthy.  Craig would go into the NICU really really early like 3-4 am and he would find the nurses snuggling on Paige.. though she was one of the sickest babies they had at birth she was by far the largest.  It amazes me the strength and devotion those neonatal nurses and doctors have.  Without them... well we had them, that is all that is important.

She has still gone through so much in her short 6 years, withdrawal from phenobarbital, high risk clinic visits, a lot of physical therapy, occupational therapy, oral aphagia therapy, SPEECH therapy, three surgeries, a handful of MRI's, allergy testing, annual hearing tests, finally done with semi annual blood draws.. more than most adults have to go through. Thanks to amazing providers, teachers, family and friends, Paige today is "normal." She will continue speech therapy at school and will work through her Apraxia for years to come, and that is about it. She is smart, energetic, flexible, funny and frustrating. LOL. We do love her so much, and I can't wait to see what kind of young lady she grows into. 


Happy Birthday Paige Poo!!!